Falling Stars
by JenT
Summary: Short but twisted tale. One reason why the Kent's couldn't have children, and why Jonathon hates the Luthors. Set pre-meteor shower.


The first time the doctors told Martha she might not ever have children, she did what any woman would do. She went home and cried. She cried herself to sleep at four o'clock in the afternoon and slept the rest of the night. It was harvest time and she really needed to be helping out. She just didn't have the strength to do so.  
  
Jonathon had understood. He finished the rest of the farmwork and then slept on the couch so as to not disturb her. As he was getting sheets out of the closet, he looked in on her, one arm clutched around a pillow as if it were a child. The sight of her tear-stained cheeks broke his heart but he knew there was nothing he could do for her besides hold her and comfort and tell her everything was going to be all right. Even though it probably wouldn't be.  
  
She awoke the next morning with a renewed determination. The doctor didn't say it was impossible. She and Jonathon had only been married for a few years. The stress of trying to make a farm successful during a quasi-drought was hard enough. They would stop having sex just to make a baby and start having it out of love, the way it should be. They would have their baby, they had to.  
  
She surprised him in the loft that day and they made love in a haystack, something they had never done in their time on the farm.  
  
The year went by and she watched as the Ross's added a son to their brood. She visited Laura in the hospital when Lana was born. All of her friends were having children and she was staring at the empty room that was meant to be a nursery. For a boy it would be decorated with the constellations, for her son would know no limits to his success. He could be an astronaut, an explorer, whatever his heart desired, but he would always know the love of his mother. It didn't matter how much money they did or did not have.  
  
**  
  
The next time they decided to see an expert, they went to Metropolis. Martha sat in the waiting room flipping through Parenting magazine, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes. It had been almost three years since that first visit. This time she wasn't going to cry.  
  
Martha laid on the cold examining table, her feet in the stirrups. She winced through the exam and squeezed Jonathon's hand so tight, he would later joke that he thought it was going to fall off. Afterwards, she covered herself as best she could with the gown and listened to what the doctor said.  
  
"I've read everything in your file. In light of today's new information, I still don't see any credible reason why you can't conceive."  
  
"None?" Jonathon asked.  
  
The doctor turned to Martha, effectively shutting Jonathon out. "Your previous pregnancy and termination hasn't affected anything." At the crestfallen look on her face, he went on. "I think you should start exploring other options to children. There are a variety of new fertilization techniques."  
  
"All of which cost money we don't have." Martha said, trying to keep the tears from her eyes.  
  
"Adoption." The doctor countered.  
  
"We'll talk about them. Is there anything else?" she asked.  
  
"No, I'll leave you to get dressed. Drop your chart off at the reception desk on your way out."  
  
He closed the door as he left.  
  
***  
  
Motley Crue faded to Bon Jovi on the radio but she didn't hear it. Jonathon was talking to her but she wasn't paying attention to him. She stared out the window at the corn fields as they flew by. Another month and they would be harvesting the crop.   
  
She was positive she was being punished. Before it had been just a feeling in her stomach every time her period started. Now she had her proof. God didn't like women who had abortions. Especially grown women with choices. She was never sure why she had done any of it. Not just the abortion, but the affair that led to it.  
  
Women had affairs with their married bosses. It happened all the time. It just wasn't supposed to happen to her. She had been foolish enough to allow him to sweep her off her feet and into bed. His wife was sick, they all knew that. But that didn't excuse her behavior. If she had been foolish to begin the affair, she had been naive when she told him she was pregnant.  
  
She finally felt it when Jonathon squeezed her hand. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked.  
  
"I don't think you want mine." He turned then, still keeping his eyes on the road.  
  
"This isn't your fault."  
  
"Yes, it is. I should have known this would happen. I didn't want to do it, Jonathon, but he made me."  
  
"I know, I was there afterward remember? What he did was unthinkable but that isn't the cause of our problems now. We just weren't meant to have a child of our own." They had met that cold January day six years ago on a park bench in Metropolis. He had been jogging through the park when he came across a shell-shocked Martha. He had sat down and eventually got him to tell her what was wrong. Of course, it was a few more months before he would discover exactly who the bastard was that broke her heart that way.  
  
"I've looked into some of the other options, and they are very expensive."  
  
"We could adopt?" he suggested.  
  
"The waiting lists are long and those are expensive too." She laughed ruefully then. "I know one way to get the money."  
  
"No, you are not going to Luthor."  
  
"Why, it's his fault anyway. I could sell my story to the tabloids. Even though I can't prove anything, just the hint of scandal would rock his empire. Hell, if I went to him first, he might even buy us a baby to keep me quiet."  
  
"I've never asked you this, but why?"  
  
"Did I get involved with him? He was good looking and charming. He was always nice to me. I knew it was wrong. I was just stupid enough to tell him I was pregnant. He didn't even want to discuss options. As soon as I told him, "I'll set you up an appointment to get rid of it." The tears stung at her eyes and she didn't have the strength to fight them off this time. "I don't know why I went through with the procedure, I guess I thought I didn't have any choice in the matter."  
  
"I'm not judging you by your mistakes, honey."  
  
"I know. He would kill you if he thought you knew the truth."  
  
"Well, he'll never find out from me. I already had enough reason to hate him to begin with."  
  
"That's just it, Jonathon, I don't hate him. After everything he put me through, I pity him and his family. But I don't hate him. Leslie's illness has taken everything out of him, and it's not even over yet. I really pity Alexander. One day his mother is going to die, and all he will have left is Lionel. What kind of future is he going to have?"  
  
"That's not our problem. What is our problem is focusing on the positive."  
  
****  
  
That night she sat in the loft of the barn using an old telescope to look at the stars. Star bright wasn't something she had ever believed in, but right now she needed all the miracles she could get. Whether God was punishing her or not, she wasn't going to have a child of her own. She had accepted it. But she could still hope and pray.  
  
She saw a falling star in the distance. 'A child of my own' was her wish. She never dreamed that a week later she and Jonathon would be fabricating a story of where they got a young child. Or that Jonathon would be burying a spaceship in their storm cellar.  
  
***  
  
Martha climbed the ladder to the loft. "Clark, you're father and I are going out for a while."  
  
He turned to her then, flashing a smile that reminded her of Jonathon. Impossible, she knew but her favorite fantasy of where Clark came from went something like 'her wish was heard that night and the angels made Clark in the image of her and Jonathon and sent him to them.'  
  
They would probably never know the truth about Clark's origin. But they liked it that way, the less there is to know, the less likely someone is to figure out his secret.  
  
"Just wishing on a falling star, mom." 


End file.
